This cannot happen.
According to RadarOnline.com, a razor blade company is offering newly activated Los Angeles Dodgers reliever Brian Wilson some big bucks to shave off his trademark beard.
The kicker? Dude is considering it.
"His management feels we need to match his present salary of $1 million at a minimum," co-founder and President of 800Razors.com Philip Masiello.
So...they did. Currently, the offer on the table is a cool one million bones for the bearded one to shave that iconic chin curtain.
"(Wilson's) beard is iconic, we are in the quality razor industry and want to partner with other shaving icons to show how great our product is. If it can tackle shaving a beard like his, it can work wonders on the average man,” Masiello continued. “Brian is one of the greatest closers in baseball today and we have one of the greatest razors in the industry today. He is unique and fun and brings a difference to his game and that is what 800Razors is all about.”
Now, as you can imagine...this isn't sitting well with the facial hair community.
"Simply astonishing," newly minted American Mustache Institute president and chairman Dr. Adam Paul Causgrove told The Hall. "Brian owes a lot to where he is today to that beard - not because he isn't talented without the beard, but because our studies have shown that facial hair increases good looks and athletic ability by no less than 38%. Personally, I would be saddened to see him join the ranks of bare-faced mortals solely for a quick payday, especially when there are countless young men and women around the world who strive to be as follicularly endowed as he is, and, frankly, view him as a role model. Brian Wilson is better than this. His beard is better than this."
So what do you think...should Wilson shave the beard and cash in or stay true to the beard that helped make him a household name?
It is a sideshow. It is all about the beard. It is carnival. Dodgers need the arm, the post-season moxie, but not the puffery Brian Wilson brings. So, I say, 'Shave it, do something honorable with the proceeds'
Adam Paul Causgrove is a God of reason. Brian Wilson, listen to your inner voice. Or Adam Paul Causgrove's voice. For the love of God, listen to some voice.